Patience, Age 16
I was just for me perms and ponytails in my Mama’s kitchen.
I was smart lips and rolled eyes dodging my cousin’s quick fist.
I was house shoes and wife beaters. Basketball shorts and basketball games over at Sherman Park.
I was a tomboy rolling in dirt, scraped knees and elbows.
Screaming as my Nana treated them with alcohol and Neosporin.
I was savage fists and feet. Bloody knuckles and teeth.
I was bullied terrified school girl hidden under slides.
I was expelled schools and dismayed teachers quitting and walking out.
I was thuggish ruggish bones and headphones blaring angry rap music.
I was terror frozen eyes. Silent cries. And hidden secrets and bruises.
I was abused body and soul.
I was black Barbie’s and Granddad’s girl.
I was seasonal allergies, cheese pizza, snickers and soda pop.
I was Nana’s house, Sesame Street and Barney trying to sound out the world.
I was friends and family, big sister and bad image.
I was vodka bottles, blood shot eyes and the holder of horrors.
I was bus stops; empty train tracks, running home trying to beat the street lights.
I was cold, tired and sore.
Throwing the world away not caring anymore
I will be free of all the chains that bind me.
I will be able to look in the mirror and turn away in disgust but stare at myself and realize that I am beautiful and strong, not worthless and wrong
I will be a blooming white rose in the middle of broken concrete, radiating the innocence and purity that was taken from me.
I will be warm smiles and sweet melodies.
I will be shared stories and healing wounds.
I will be the bass moving through an African tune.
I will be gut deep laughs and soul deep cries.
I will be down to earth personality and free of lies.
I will be sunbeams shining bright and true.
I will be an upstanding business woman on my own two feet.
I will be a college graduate with my doctor’s degree.
I will be a role model, a leader that stands with a lifted chin.
I will be woman capable of love.
I will be strong, loving, open arms enclosing around my child.
I will be family affairs and Sunday dinners at my house.
I will be a wise, everlasting, persistent soul.
I will be a story with a fine finish.
I will be a novelist, putting everything I have into the pages that go on and on.
I will be someone that matters, something worth finding
I will be.